Otto

One of my patients, now 88 yr old Otto, has been someone the Lord has had me minister to as he comes in twice a year. Today he ministered to me two-fold. He asked me if I've gotten married in the last 6 months since I've seen him. Of course, I haven't. He went on and on about how the fellows out there must be dumb and he feels like he knows me pretty well and he thinks they just must be idiots! If he were a young man he wouldn't let me get away. The fact that he thinks so highly of me makes me feel special(1) and gives me a testimony to God's hand at work(2). I've shared the gospel with Otto, encouraging him to seek the Lord and he now thinks highly of me. That shows me that the Lord is using me to show him something real. It's nothing I could have done, but Christ in me draws him. Lord, may Your light in me draw him not only as an admirer of it, but to his knees in surrender to You. Thank you for showing me that You are at work! Thank you that you are able to accomplish more than I think to ask!

godly risk?

risk (v): 1. to expose to danger or loss; hazard 2. to act in spite of the possibility of (injury or loss)

I'm contemplating how to take risks. I'm pretty practical. I'm not sure I take risks unless I feel somewhat secure about them--is that still considered a risk? I suppose it is still a risk, but I think it's acted out in faith of my my security in my own feeling/ability/experiences rather than my security in God. Hmm...

This was part of a friend's prayer for me recently which brought me to these thoughts:

"I'm asking that God would let your heart fill up with knowledge of His heart for you and that you would embrace the depth of His grace. I pray He'd move you to risk even more in days to come because your security is in Him and you still have breath. He is faithful."

When I read that, it makes me want to take risks that He moves me toward and not waste the life He has given me here to live on earth for Him. Like people like Corrie ten Boom! I sure don't feel like I'm in a place where I'm living to the fullest for Him. There is so much that works against that--the unseen battle, the battle that I forget is there half the time. When you're not aware a battle's going on, you're more likely to lose because you're not on your guard and you're obviously not fighting. It's one of those things that I have been very aware of, but somewhere got overwhelmed and weighed down and then numb to it and suddenly I'm on cruise control. Just getting by day to day. What got me there? Trying to do it on my own? Doesn't that equal pride? Maybe taking a risk [aka step of faith] will push me off the floor escalator. And somewhere in there some humility needs to be added into the mix.

Then there's the question...what's the risk that needs to be taken? Humble me Lord!

Another spurt of creativity

Before











After












The side didn't turn out right, so I just keep that part hidden! If ever 'antiquing' furniture, let the gravity-affected areas dry longer before applying the 2nd paint color! Lesson learned.

Excerpt from 'The Valley of Vision'

The Divine Will

O Lord,
I hang on thee; I see, believe, live, when thy will, not mine, is done;
I can plead nothing in myself in regard of any worthiness and grace, in regard of thy providence and promises, but only thy good pleasure.
If thy mercy make me poor and vile, blessed be thou!
Prayers arising from my needs are preparations for future mercies;
Help me to honour thee by believing before I feel, for great is the sin if I make feeling a cause of faith.
Show me what sins hide thee from me and eclipse thy love;
Help me to humble myself for past evils, to be resolved to walk with more care,
For if I do not walk holily before thee, how can I be assured of my salvation?
It is the meek and humble who are shown thy covenant, know thy will, are pardoned and healed, who by faith depend and rest upon grace, who are sanctified and quickened, who by evidence thy love.
Help me to pray in faith and so find thy will, by leaning hard on thy rich free mercy, by believing thou wilt give what thou hast promised;
Strengthen me to pray with the conviction that whatever I receive is thy gift, so that I may pray until prayer be granted;
Teach me to believe that all degrees of mercy arise from several degrees of prayer, that when faith is begun it is imperfect and must grow, as chapped ground opens wider and wider until rain comes.
So shall I wait thy will, pray for it to be done, and by thy grace become fully obedient.

[Reminds me of Psalm 143, which I read recently and was a blessing to me]

A New Friend

Hmm, something to write...
I met Maritza on Monday. I met her when she asked if I spoke Spanish while at a clothing thrift store. She wanted to know which colored tags were on discount that day. She was a black woman and spoke Spanish, so I had to ask where she was from. I wasn't surprised when she told me Cuba. We talked for about thirty minutes, a mix of Spanish and English. I found out she was a believer. Her immediate family is here, but the rest is still in her country. She is working to save money to bring them over as well. She feels like every Cuban needs to see the US and see what can be. I attempted to encourage her that although things for Cuba seem bleak and that change will take a long time, God is in control. He has a plan. That we can be thankful that in times of great difficulty hearts are more open to receive Him.
I will look for her again, as we both frequent this thrift store regularly :)

I'm sitting here at Thai Cottage, waiting for my to-go order. A Jewish couple just walked in wearing crisp, fully white outfits which is customary on Rosh Hashana. As I was making that connection, I was thinking about the fact that because of Christ, that is how we look to God. Crisp, white, pure. Thank You Lord for that visual reminder!
They wear that in belief that God will forgive them, and He will--He has, they need only believe in the Messiah who came to earth as a man and conquered sin/evil through a different means than was expected (by death on a cross and resurrection to life 3 days later). Isn't that how He works? His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts.

I found an old journal entry (well, 7 months old...)

Feb 18, 2009

I'm standing here alone
Maybe not quite standing
Maybe not alone
My nature makes things foggy
Would You release me
Get me out of this pit
Break these chains
That I know so well
Deceptively desirable
Deceptively stronger
Honestly overwhelming
Easier to just ignore
Bringing joy to the deceiver
And shame to my Redeemer
This is not what I want
Cut my heart open
Pour the Light of Truth in
Clearing up all confusion
Making gray black or white
Rise up inside me
Shine forth with blinding light
Let not one miss
This testimony to who You are
My refuge
I will continually come
For when I am weak
You say that You are strong